he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
this will be a night to untag.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I could fuck to npr.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
