I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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