so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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