That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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