I'm eating all of the evidence.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
