There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i think my cat just said my name.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
