If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I have aggressive nipples.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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