how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
