im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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