Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
