Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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