is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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