thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
