I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Damn victory sex feels great
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
