I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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