i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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