Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
