I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize