My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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