I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
