whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
