It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
my liver is dry heaving
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
