THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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