Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
