grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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