Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
