My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
