Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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