I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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