At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
