yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
