this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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