Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
