he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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