it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
