no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
