i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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