Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
