Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
