I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
