I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
