Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If I die, sorry about rent.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
