how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
