the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The Olympian is in my bed
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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