Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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