arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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