I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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