We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
