Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
