I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
