And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
