Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Fuck appropriateness.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
