Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think people are normalizing furries
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