Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
