why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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