I wanna bring you to show and tell
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
