Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
