Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
